It’s amazing the strong connection we can have with words. I’m a deep lover of words - I collect poems and quotes, and firmly believe in their power to uplift and inspire. Incorporating someone else’s words, a favorite piece of poetry, or selection from a novel is a great way to personalize your ceremony, as well as imbue it with that wonderful feeling and strong emotion that only the well written word can instill.

When I’m writing a wedding ceremony, and want to include someone else’s words, that first things I think about are, “What is the theme of this wedding?”

Finding Words to Fit Inspiration

I’m not just considering the actual theme of the wedding, as the bride and groom have set forth (like Autumn, Rock & Roll, Vintage Glam, Renaissance, Literature), but the direction that I see the ceremony going on - I consider the relationship of the couple, the love story, their sense of humor.

I did a wedding that took place in the couple’s backyard - they were all about family, about turning their house into a home for their family. I immediately jumped online and began searching to find some quotes that I could use in their ceremony. And I found the perfect quote!

Jeannie & Tom’s beautiful backyard wedding

As someone once said, “It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.” Tom and Jeannie have opened their hearts not only to each other, but to everyone in their lives. This love is what makes their house into a home.

I always ask my couples who their favorite artists, performers, and authors are - and who their heroes are as well. This gives me another jumping off point to find beautiful words that really fit well with the rest of the ceremony.

Let me give you an example - in a recent wedding I did, the bride told me she loves Abraham Lincoln. I don’t think most people would think to include a quote by President Lincoln in the wedding ceremony, but I found this lovely quote that felt very much like the couple - and included it in the end of their love story.

And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

As the bride’s love for President Lincoln was a bit of an inside joke, I got a few laughs with the quote, too.

Finding Inspiration from Words

Often times, couples will tell me of a poem or reading they would like to incorporate as well - and I often use these as ways to extrapolate the theme of the ceremony, the overall feeling that the couple would like their wedding to evoke. It’s kind of the backwards version of when I search for a quote - instead of trying to figure out the theme from the ceremony outline and THEN find a quote, I take the quote, find the theme, and keep that in mind when writing the ceremony. It’s kind of like the wordy version of those wedding inspiration boards - a poem or reading suggestion can help me better understand what a couple is looking for.

I had a bride this past summer who came to her meeting with two passages she just loved and wanted to include in her ceremony. They also wanted a very short ceremony, with little to no Love Story. I adapted the passages into their Love Story, relating it to their relationship and their lives. It worked out really well.

A good marriage must be created.
In a marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person - it is being the right partner.

Lynn and Joe have clearly found the right partner in each other. Joe says that Lynn is his inspiration. Her selflessness, big heart, and drive to help others never ceases to amaze him.

The love and support that Lynn receives from Joe have been above and beyond her wildest dreams. She admires the way he cares for her, provides for her, and protects her. She says that he is always willing to help others, through good and bad, no matter how tough it is - whatever it takes.

Joe and Lynn, today you are marrying the right person - you have found your perfect partner. It brings us immense happiness to see that you have found each other, and to witness your marriage today.

Joe & Lynn’s Love Story

I love that passage - it’s in my Celebrant arsenal - I like to use it in my closing remarks. Thanks, Lynn!

Ways to Include Words in Your Ceremony

You’ve probably heard of the old standard to include poetry or a text selection in your wedding - add a reader to your program. This is an especially nice way to include family members, close friends, or bridal party members into your ceremony. Make sure that you’ve told them before hand that they’re going to be reading, and, if at all possible, send them a copy via email so they can become familiar with it!

I always bring a copy for the readers, so they don’t have to worry about folding a piece of paper and sticking it in their pockets or purse. Talk to your officiant about it, or see if you can leave a copy at the front, on your props table - it makes everything run much more smoothly if they don’t have to worry about that extra piece of paper.

The Matron of Honor reads e.e. cummings

As I’ve mentioned, if the couple doesn’t want to have a reader, I will often use the selection in the ceremony itself - perhaps in the Love Story or the closing remarks. I like to weave it seamlessly into the ceremony, so it doesn’t feel weird to have me all of a sudden speaking in verse or reciting Shakespearean sonnets.

You can also include a quote or short poem in your programs, or even on your invitations! This is a really nice way to have your theme of your ceremony expand throughout your wedding.

Something I love is to include them in your vows. I recently found a poem that just took my breathe away - and made me cry each time I read it. It spoke really clearly to me, and I’ve tucked it away to use in my own wedding vows (and I can’t share it here because I know he reads my blog!).

And please, as always, feel free to think outside of the box! I’ve had couples incorporate song quotes from musicals in their vows - or read song lyrics like a poem - or put a poem to music! - recite a passage in two languages (a great way to have a bilingual touch to your ceremony!). The possibilities of including other people’s words in your ceremony are near endless, and incredibly inspiring. Start your own quote collection today!

—

Authored By Jessie Blum

Jessie Blum is a certified Celebrant and wedding officiant serving Northern and Central New Jersey. She is passionate about personalizing wedding ceremonies, and strongly believes the only rule about weddings it that there are no rules! She’s currently planning her own wedding for 2010, and lives with her fiance in Bergen County, New Jersey.

Your ceremony is the heart and soul of your wedding and will likely be the most personal memory of this special day. So choosing an officiant is more critical than most people realize. Many couples, especially those who do not have a regular place of worship, plan in advance for everything but the wedding officiant! Personal referrals can give you a sense of security but make sure the officiant meets your individual needs and requirements. There are many things to consider:

The Officiant

If at all possible, meet personally with the officiant to make sure you are comfortable in their presence. It helps to discuss in advance what you are looking for as a couple so you are prepared to ask questions about everything that is important to you. Are they available for your wedding date and can you imagine them presiding over your special day? Do you like their voice and will it carry? What will they wear? Do they appear to be sensitive and flexible in relating to you? Do you sense they can collaborate with other

wedding professionals to make your day joyful and elegant? Remember that your officiant should be able to reflect your values, beliefs and the meaningful aspects that are unique and special about your relationship.

Pre-Marital Education

Does the officiant require your participation in pre-marital education or counseling? If not, are you interested in participating? Even when not required, pre-marital education is an excellent investment in your future. Learning more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses and gaining enhanced communication/conflict resolution skills ensures the best possible foundation for a happy marriage.

The Ceremony and Vows

Will the officiant work with you to develop a special ceremony which honors you as a couple? Can you use contemporary readings or are religious or scriptural readings required? Can you write your own vows or add special touches? Your ceremony should be an authentic expression of who you are as individuals and as a couple. For the most personal and unique wedding ceremony, your officiant should act as a guide and co-creator (not a director).

Location

Do you want to be married in a church, on the beach, or at some other special location? Is your officiant registered in the state or country where you plan to be married? Do special location arrangements need to be made and who will make them?

Fees and Other Considerations

Fees vary depending on services and travel requirements. Do you want the officiant only at the wedding ceremony or will you require them to be present at a rehearsal? Do you want to invite them to the rehearsal dinner and/or the dinner/reception after your wedding? Don’t assume anything without asking about each of these possibilities and receiving clear answers from your officiant.

Finally, do you believe your wedding officiant will act as a trusted advisor capable of meeting your needs through listening and encouragement, linking you to other resources, or providing direction if desired? This is your day – choosing the right wedding officiant will create a special memory for years to come.

—

Jacqueline Soares, a wedding officiant located in Huntington Beach CA. Has assisted dozens of couples from the design of their wedding ceremony to perfoming their ceremony on the their big day.

Couples are surprised to find there is no mandatory design for a wedding ceremony. Ceremonies can be traditional or as unique as each couple; it’s your day – you can have it your way.

Although there are a few standard lines an officiant needs to incorporate into your ceremony, for the most part it is all about your sonnet from one heart to another. If you want a ceremony created especially for you, make sure to choose an officiant who acts as guide and co-creator, rather than a director.

A Typical Ceremony

To give you an idea of how a ceremony might be structured, here is the one of the most common ceremony templates used:

Opening Words of the Officiant: This is where we welcome your family and guests.

The Giving in Marriage: (Optional) The father or family member gives the bride away.

An Opening Prayer or Reading: Nice place to have a guest or family member do a favorite reading of the couple’s choice. The officiant is also more than happy to recite your choice of reading or opening scripture.

Definition of Marriage: (Optional) The officiant can define the marriage with your choice of words.

Wedding Vows: Traditional, non-traditional, religious. This is the first time you will recite a piece to each other with the assistance of your officiant feeding the lines to both of you.

Second Reading or Song: (Optional) Very commonly a guest or family member reads or sings a song.

Exchange of Rings: You will choose a ring exchange vow that suits your heart.

Closing: (Sometimes called a Benediction) Usually the officiant recites your closing thoughts to the family and guests.

Declaration Of Marriage: “By the power vested in me by the State of _______, I now pronounce you ____________” and the best part for last, “you may now kiss the bride or life partner.”

Introduction of Newlyweds: The officiant usually introduces the newlyweds by the married names you are taking.

Other Bits of Wisdom

You have worked hard at making this the most memorable day of your life for you and your guests. Please make sure that they can hear your ceremony. Your DJ or venue will normally have a wireless mike that the officiant can use or a microphone that can be set up. Your guests and loved ones really do want to hear your vows and this allows them to be part of your special celebration, the first day of your married life.

Make sure if there are any special announcements you wish the officiant to make that you let them know before the ceremony. They can announce this after you and your wedding party leave the staged area.

There are many free and paid sites on the internet these days that have samples of wedding ceremonies. Your officiant will also be able to give you sample ceremonies they have already performed, or samples of vows and readings. Make sure the ceremony is a true reflection of the both of you. It’s your very special day…forever more.

—

Authored By Jacqueline Soares, wedding officiant specializing in beach weddings.

When I first began Officiating Wedding Ceremonies I quickly realized that couples who were having a non denominational, civil or even a basic church Ceremony are offered only one or maybe two out of the book, fill in the blanks with the Bride and Groom s names, canned, repeated Ceremonies. Some Officiates may offer limited personalization, alterations and additions. Keep in mind that the Officiant is the main witness of you agreeing to be husband and wife, THE WORDS SHOULD AND CAN BE WHAT YOU WANT. The bottom line is that you should EASILY be able to compile the Ceremony that you want, print it and hand it to your Officiant/Minister/Judge/Justice of the Peace and say: Here, read this.

Another problem I ran into is what I call cookie cutter or the easy repeated way to perform a Ceremony. As guests, we attend a Ceremony, sit in our chair and all of a sudden, without notice, there is the Officiant, the Groom and his entourage up front. How rude and surprising to the guests! I firmly believe that the Officiant should do some sort of a Welcome to your guests along with any needed announcements and instructions including the turning off of cellular telephones to set up what should be set up as a warm loving time.

I am also big on equality. If the Bride enters down the main aisle so should the Groom. He is an equal half of the equation. If the Bride is to be escorted by her Father; why not by her Mother also? She is typically closer to the Bride than the Father anyway. When they get to the front corner chair the Bride and her Mother can hug and kiss, the Mother can be seated and then the Father walks the Bride up to the Groom.

And since the Bride is being escorted by her parents, why can t the Groom be escorted by his parents and seated in the front row? How many Ceremonies have we all been to that the Groom s parents are never recognized and therefore treated like second-rate citizens?

If the Bride is being given away during the Ceremony by her Father, then why not by her Mother also? Therefore, why shouldn’t the Groom s parents be able to give him away? Equality! I also believe that the parents should give the Bride and Groom away during the Ceremony prior to the vows. Doing the give-away when the Bride is brought to the Groom is typically missed by the guests and it doesn’t stand out. I have whoever is giving the Bride and/or Groom away stand as a Wedding Album photo opportunity when they do the give-a-way.

As to the entrance processional, I feel that as a guest it looks so much nicer and loving to have the Maid of Honor escorted down the aisle by the Best Man and the Bridesmaids by the Groomsmen. They reach the Officiant then split to their respective positions. The theme of a Ceremony is the making of a couple, so when the wedding party enters as couples, it keeps with the theme and you don t shove the Grooms party in from the side as if they are not equal to the Brides party. It also allows your guests and your photographer to focus on one aisle instead of looking around wondering who is coming next and from where. But the bottom line is; do as you wish.

As to the rings, equality again! Unless you have a Ring Bearer, the Best Man should have the Grooms ring and the Maid of Honor should have the Brides ring. The Grooms ring is too large for the Maid of Honor s finger and she has no pockets, so she simply places the Brides ring on a finger that slides easily over her knuckle. If the Ring Bearer has the real rings, then the Best Man should be the one to tie the rings on the pillow since he will be the one to untie them.

Hopefully this will be your only or final Wedding Ceremony. Do it the way you want to and not some cookie cutter way a wedding coordinator or family member wants you to.

Finally, your Ceremony Words are the most important part of your Wedding, more important than the paper the invitations are printed on, the seating arrangement etc. Make YOUR WORDS meaningful and memorable to you, your families and your guests. If you can make your guests cry a bit, laugh a bit and tell you afterward how much they enjoyed the words of your Ceremony, you will have succeeded.

—

Authored By REVEREND MICHAEL J. AHERN

I Officiate full time in Orange County, California and have Officiated over 2,000 Ceremonies. I Officiate at all Orange County, California Hotels, Country Clubs, Parks, Chapels, Beaches and Residences with Personalized, Non Denominational Wedding Ceremonies. I am competitively priced and offer numerous options, customizations and personalizations. By utilizing my services you get to decide every word of your Wedding Ceremony. http://www.reverendmichaelahern.com/

The Handfasting is a beautiful ceremony that can augment your vows and ring exchange. It was originated in the 1600’s, in Europe,  when very few weddings were being sanctified in the church. It was essentially, a commonlaw ritual, and it makes a beautiful contrast to the more formalized vows that are included in most modern ceremonies.

In the version that I have written , multiple colored cords, (some of which are embellished with beads, gemstones and charms), are draped over the couple’s hands as promises are read. Very often, a close friend. the couples’ children or one of the bridal party will assist in draping the cords; this is a great way to make them active participants.

Including distinctive and meaningful rituals like the handfasting is a way to truly make your ceremony a highly personal one. This ritual element  is one of my clients’ favorites. Thank you, Kris and Ashley, for this beautiful photo of your celebration!

—

Authored by Celia Milton.

Celia Milton is a civil celebrant and wedding minister who performs wedding ceremonies and civil unions.  She is based in New Jersey, and works with couples in New Jersey, New York, and New York City.  Her website is www.Celiamilton.com.

Here’s how to keep the peace and still have the crowd you want.

Choose your battles, be firm, but give in if it’s a small issue and it looks like emotions are running wild. Arguments aren’t worth winning if they mean you and your mom aren’t speaking.

Divvy the peeps evenly. If your parents want to invite 30 friends, then you should give your groom’s folks the same option.

Ditch the “AND GUEST” pals who don’t have a long term love can attend solo. Tell singles that space is tight.

Skip your co-workers. If you don’t hang with your colleagues outside of the office, leave them off the list. If you can though, invite your boss or assistant.

Cut the munchkins. Be clear and consistent if you’re asking parents to leave their kids at home, for example, make a “NOBODY UNDER 18″ or “JUST NIECES AND NEPHEWS” rule.

Avoid the chain gangs. If putting just one person on your list, compels you to add the six others you associate with him or her, then drop them all.

Stagger the invitations. This tip is our least favourite, but if it will keep you from strangling your parents, or his, try it: Have an A-list of “Must be Invited People”, and a B-list of “It would be Nice to Have People”.

Send A-list invites out about 10 weeks before the wedding. For every regret, mail out a B-list invite. Don’t send a B-lister out later than one month before the big day.

Ceremony Considerations

5 things you and your fiance should discuss before meeting with your officiant.

1. The type of ceremony you both envision. Traditional and Religious? Interfaith? Non-religious yet spiritual?

2. Whether you would like to say anything to each other (aside from traditional vows)

3. Any religious or cultural rituals that you would like to incorporate, such as lighting of the unity candles or breaking a glass or jumping a broom at the end of the ceremony.

4. Special reading you’d like to include (a favorite poem, an ancedote about your first date, etc)

5. Particular relatives you’d like to honor by mentioning them, or with a symbolic gesture (wearing a piece of jewellry or a religious item of theirs, for example)

—

Authored by Reverend Jerry Tindall at the Victorian Wedding Chapel in Aiken,S.C. where we put the bride and groom’s wants and desires first. After all, it is your wedding.

You might be tempted to use a family member or friend to do your wedding flowers or try to do them yourself but there are many things to consider before trying this. 

There is a lot more that goes into doing flowers than buying them, cutting them, and putting them in a vase.  A florist or designer can help you come up with a plan, and look at more affordable options to get a similar look but with less expensive flowers.  Floral designers can bring in flowers from all over the world, even when not in season.   They know what to look for and what questons to ask the wholesaler to ensure that you get what you want.  They also should have a large selection of rental containers so you do not have to buy multiple vases… especially when you want to use large scale vases for centerpieces and your  ceremony. 

You and your family are going to be busier than you think prior to the wedding.  Flowers cannot be made very far in advance and you are not going to want to be making arrangements and personal flowers the day or night before the wedding.  A floral designer can handle not only helping you design your decor but will make it and set everything up.  They can hand out personal flowers, pin on boutonnieres and corsages, and also pick up everything afterward.  This makes it much easier on you and your family. 

I can’t tell you how many Bride’s have called me and said they were going to have a famly friend do their flowers but they backed out at the last minute.  This can be very stressful.  You don’t need any more stress during this time… Hire a floral designer and know it will be perfect and you can enjoy your special day.

—
Authored by Katina Isaacson
Katina is the owner and designer of Sierra Floral Designs in the Lake Tahoe and Reno Area.  Creative event flowers…as unique as you are!  Visit our website at www.sierrafloraldesigns.com

Recent trends I’ve noticed in weddings include: Keeping it simple, keeping costs down, and keeping more personal time for the couple. I am seeing more and more couples wanting to do simple, small wedding ceremonies with less fanfare and then having a special reception with special people at a later date.

One such couple is finishing up their education degrees in college.  At their wedding they had just me, their minster, a photographer and witnesses for their wedding ceremony. They said they wanted it simple, with fewer hassles and less expense. That way they had more time with each other (They weren’t worn out from the events leading up to the wedding and enjoyed the time they had together more.) When they returned home, they and their families, had a reception for friends and family. 

One couple got married on the beach of a resort, another in a park’s gardens, another in a gazebo, and another in a park’s reception hall. One couple got married in a hot air balloon and yet another on a pontoon boat. For some, Mom’s back yard works well, or the lodge meeting room. Many just have a few close friends and family present.

The trend I’ve been seeing is toward smaller weddings, in a place meaningful just for the couple, with less expense. Then investing time later for friends and family at a separate reception. It’s about having fun, enjoying each other, saving time, and less hassle, with a unique elegance.  By staying small, the special nature of your location is only limited by your imagination.

—
About The Author:  Dale Shumaker: My foremost desire is to help people achieve the happiness they ought to have. My life experiences have taught me that everyone must determine what happiness is for them. I will see that your dreams for your wedding, the most wonderful day in your life, are accomplished. With a special talent to make everyone feel relaxed, comfortable while having fun, I will help you organize what you do in a way that you and your guests will have just a magnificent time. That’s why I like being part of Canalope Weddings… we find out what you want and make sure every detail you want is carried out. It is my delight to make this The Most Enchanting experience of your life… that you will reminisce forever. “May God’s richest blessings forever be with you!”  Can-A-Lope Wedding Officiants, Traveling Wedding Ministers can truly make the wedding wonders of their dreams come true.

The most common question I receive is “how much do you charge”. That is a good question however, it should not be the first or most important question when hiring your wedding officiant. To often Brides and Grooms plan their very detailed wedding ceremony and reception right down to the detail and want their wedding to be perfect! BUT  They think of the Officant as the person who just marry’s them. Yes the officiant does marry you, but they also create and perform your entire ceremony!

Your guests are sitting there watching and listening to your entire ceremony. If your officiant is not professional, does not speak clearly and with expression, does not have the ability to put together a well organized, well flowing ceremony for you, it can be a disaster.

First and most important interview a few officiants, look at sample ceremonies, ask questions, find out what they will do for the price, are they there for you from the day you book with them until you say I DO?  Will they give you final approval of your ceremony before they get up there and start talking? You need to know what your officiant will say! Will your officiant be dressed appropriately to suit your theme? Will your officiant arrive early to make sure all of the last minute details are in place? What is included in their fee? Are they going to charge extra at the last minute for customizing your ceremony, travel expenses, filing your marriage license?

Do you feel comfortable with your officiant? Do you feel your officiant will guide you through the ceremony? Do you get a feeling your officiant is sincere in their profession or do you get the feeling it is just a job to them?

Don’t get left standing at the alter by your officiant: Ask for a well written agreement. The agreement should contain the following at a very minimum: Their total cost to you. Your wedding date, time and location. It should also contain a statement that they are legal to perform weddings in your state. Does the agreement state what will happen if they do not show up or get into an accident or car trouble on the way to your wedding?

Minister: Are you looking for a minister? If so, are they a true minister with experience or did they click the mouse and become ordained with not one bit of ministery experience? Ask what church or organization they are aligned with. Don’t be misled.

Cost: Regardless of cost, your officiant can be very expenisve and that does not relate to quality!  It simply means they overcharge or have you paying their office rent to have a nice “front”. You may find a very cheap officiant that also does not relate to quality. Only interviewing them either by phone or in person, asking questions, asking for sampe ceremonies, asking to read their agreement/contact can you then begin to determine if they are qualified,  professional and a good match for you!

Types of Ceremonies offered: Will your officiant perform the ceremony that you desire? non-denominational, civil, secular, readings, poems, unity candle, rose, sand, handfasting for examples? Is this an additional charge or included in the fee?

You and your Officiant can have a wonderful experience, or you may be left very disappointed. I have heard guests, DJ’s, caterers, talk about a wonderful ceremony and disasterous ceremonies. Don’t let this happen to you.

—

Authored By Sharon of Alafia Ceremonies: I am a Professional Wedding Officiant. I perform each and every ceremony with care and compassion. Each wedding is special. It is not just another wedding. This is just not a job to me. I truly have a passion and take pride in the services that I offer. An officiant is not a job for just anyone. It is not a job to get rich from. There are good and bad just like every other profession. I believe every couple deserves to have beautiful memories and treated with respect.

I believe I have an obligation tto my profession to educate Brides and Grooms.  They deserve to understand the importance of an officiant and the role they play.

You can find information on my services by visiting my website at www.alafiaceremonies.net