Your Ceremony Words
When I first began Officiating Wedding Ceremonies I quickly realized that couples who were having a non denominational, civil or even a basic church Ceremony are offered only one or maybe two out of the book, fill in the blanks with the Bride and Groom s names, canned, repeated Ceremonies. Some Officiates may offer limited personalization, alterations and additions. Keep in mind that the Officiant is the main witness of you agreeing to be husband and wife, THE WORDS SHOULD AND CAN BE WHAT YOU WANT. The bottom line is that you should EASILY be able to compile the Ceremony that you want, print it and hand it to your Officiant/Minister/Judge/Justice of the Peace and say: Here, read this.
Another problem I ran into is what I call cookie cutter or the easy repeated way to perform a Ceremony. As guests, we attend a Ceremony, sit in our chair and all of a sudden, without notice, there is the Officiant, the Groom and his entourage up front. How rude and surprising to the guests! I firmly believe that the Officiant should do some sort of a Welcome to your guests along with any needed announcements and instructions including the turning off of cellular telephones to set up what should be set up as a warm loving time.
I am also big on equality. If the Bride enters down the main aisle so should the Groom. He is an equal half of the equation. If the Bride is to be escorted by her Father; why not by her Mother also? She is typically closer to the Bride than the Father anyway. When they get to the front corner chair the Bride and her Mother can hug and kiss, the Mother can be seated and then the Father walks the Bride up to the Groom.
And since the Bride is being escorted by her parents, why can t the Groom be escorted by his parents and seated in the front row? How many Ceremonies have we all been to that the Groom s parents are never recognized and therefore treated like second-rate citizens?
If the Bride is being given away during the Ceremony by her Father, then why not by her Mother also? Therefore, why shouldn’t the Groom s parents be able to give him away? Equality! I also believe that the parents should give the Bride and Groom away during the Ceremony prior to the vows. Doing the give-away when the Bride is brought to the Groom is typically missed by the guests and it doesn’t stand out. I have whoever is giving the Bride and/or Groom away stand as a Wedding Album photo opportunity when they do the give-a-way.
As to the entrance processional, I feel that as a guest it looks so much nicer and loving to have the Maid of Honor escorted down the aisle by the Best Man and the Bridesmaids by the Groomsmen. They reach the Officiant then split to their respective positions. The theme of a Ceremony is the making of a couple, so when the wedding party enters as couples, it keeps with the theme and you don t shove the Grooms party in from the side as if they are not equal to the Brides party. It also allows your guests and your photographer to focus on one aisle instead of looking around wondering who is coming next and from where. But the bottom line is; do as you wish.
As to the rings, equality again! Unless you have a Ring Bearer, the Best Man should have the Grooms ring and the Maid of Honor should have the Brides ring. The Grooms ring is too large for the Maid of Honor s finger and she has no pockets, so she simply places the Brides ring on a finger that slides easily over her knuckle. If the Ring Bearer has the real rings, then the Best Man should be the one to tie the rings on the pillow since he will be the one to untie them.
Hopefully this will be your only or final Wedding Ceremony. Do it the way you want to and not some cookie cutter way a wedding coordinator or family member wants you to.
Finally, your Ceremony Words are the most important part of your Wedding, more important than the paper the invitations are printed on, the seating arrangement etc. Make YOUR WORDS meaningful and memorable to you, your families and your guests. If you can make your guests cry a bit, laugh a bit and tell you afterward how much they enjoyed the words of your Ceremony, you will have succeeded.
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Authored By REVEREND MICHAEL J. AHERN
I Officiate full time in Orange County, California and have Officiated over 2,000 Ceremonies. I Officiate at all Orange County, California Hotels, Country Clubs, Parks, Chapels, Beaches and Residences with Personalized, Non Denominational Wedding Ceremonies. I am competitively priced and offer numerous options, customizations and personalizations. By utilizing my services you get to decide every word of your Wedding Ceremony. http://www.reverendmichaelahern.com/
