In affairs of the heart, three is a crowd except when one is your dog. Pets are excellent matchmakers, and acquiring a new pet can be one of the biggest joint decisions a couple makes before the decision to say I Do. Sharing pet care responsibilities in relationships is an excellent way to preview ‘family life’ before becoming husband and wife. For many the close bond between humans and our four legged companions is so fulfilling that pets become part of the family even to the point of being considered our ‘kids’. So, it seems natural that dedicated pet lovers can’t imagine planning the most important day of their lives together without including their canine in the celebration.
When Alaina Mullins walked down the aisle, she was accompanied by both her 8 year old daughter and her long time ‘dog daughter’ Maggie. “Everyone loved seeing the two of them walk down together, and it meant the world to me to be able to include Maggie. She is treated like family, says Alaina. “Marriage is the ultimate expression of love shared with the people most precious to you and it would have been so sad if Maggie was not with us.”
Mindy and Doug McLemore adopted their Shih-Tzu, Fletcher, right after they got engaged and immediately involved Fletcher in their wedding day plans. Says Mindy,
“Fletcher was six weeks old and right away was such a joyous part of our new lives together. I was living in Nashville during that time and Doug was in Knoxville, so Fletcher spent a lot of time driving with us back and forth during his first few months. We were potty-training Fletcher during the early wedding planning and over the winter holidays, so we took him everywhere with us. Doug and I would each take him to work when we had him and Fletcher was right there with us as we planned every step of our wedding. He was in our engagement pictures and he was even at our first meeting with Cedarwood! Doug had him tucked inside his jacket to keep him warm.
I hate to sound cliché, but Fletcher is like our kid, so we really wanted to include him in the wedding. We decided that Doug would walk down the aisle with Fletcher and they would stand there until I walked down the aisle and joined Doug. The plan was that Fletcher would be handed off to a “handler” as I was walking down the aisle and then he would sit with the handler through the wedding.
Everything went according to plan, but Fletcher was a hyper mess—which is not his norm. He made it down the aisle, but would not stay. He got handed off to the handler early and then taken back to the groom’s room for the ceremony. Doug later told me that Fletcher had gotten into some candy that his mother had laying out at the hotel. Oops!
If I had to do it over again, I still wouldn’t change anything—except the sugar high!”
Over 20% of dog owners include a pet in their wedding according to the American Kennel Club, and regionally percentages can be much higher. Often playing the role of confidante, therapist and faithful friend, the dog of the bride and groom can be an emotional stabilizer that keeps wedding day nerves in check.
During wedding day hair and makeup, Jama Pearce’s faithful pooch Snoop kept a peaceful eye on activities while everyone else rushed frantically about. “Having Snoop with me was the perfect way to begin my wedding day,” reflects Jama, “and seeing him and John waiting for me at the altar kept me totally calm. He made such a joyful contribution to our day.”
Socially, pets contribute a personal touch and lighthearted sense of joy to ceremonies and receptions if proper preparation is taken. Pet friendly wedding venues may be a little harder to find, but they offer couples an opportunity to create a little unexpected magic for wedding guests and capture memories that will live in hearts and photographs forever.
Ralph Griggs, a non-denominational minister and wedding councilor, has officiated hundreds of ceremonies in Nashville and been involved with more pet friendly weddings than most. His advice for couples is to make sure that everyone involved is onboard with the plan. “During a recent ceremony the dog “ring bearer” walked down the aisle and, as planned, was handed off to a grandfather seated on the front row. When queued to ‘come’ forward during the ring ceremony, the dog did her best, struggling against the locked retractable lead that granddad did not know how to release!”
Although greater acceptance makes it compelling to consider involving our pedigreed family in wedding day activities, if you are on the fence about inviting your pet to serve as best man or flower girl – the best advice is don’t. An unwavering commitment to include Fido is a sure indicator that you are up to the additional challenges of taking your pet to the wedding. With the right mind-set and planning the rewards are worth the effort.
Pet Rehearsal
Once you’ve booked a pet-friendly venue start preparing your pet for their role in your wedding by visiting the property together. Let Rover roam the grounds with you to familiarize him with the new territory and begin to establish protocol for preferred behavior the day of your wedding.
Work on manners. Jumping up to greet you from work is endearing, but jumping up on Aunt Sally’s new dress at your wedding is not cool. If your dog is young, start training immediately for basic commands. Group training programs are a natural ground for teaching your pet to behave around strangers.
An acknowledging bark for the bride and groom can enchant your guests, but repetitive barking during the ceremony or reception is annoying. Make sure that your pet does not steal your thunder with excessive barking. If barking at strangers is an inherent tendency in an otherwise obedient breed, they may not be wedding party material. Hand held bark control training devices work wonders in public places, but don’t wait till the big day to try it out.
Dressing your fur friend for the wedding is yet another opportunity to express your unique style and put a smile on guests’ faces. But don’t expect Fido or Fefe to be comfortable in a couture dress or tux and accessories if they are not used to wearing clothes. A special collar and leash matching your wedding colors, or a flower and ribbon garland are always tasteful ways to outfit the best dog.
Get a Handle on the Situation
Designate a dog handler who is able to dedicate their attention throughout the wedding and reception, but don’t add this task to members of the wedding party or close family. Handlers should know exactly what they are signing on for and be introduced to your pet long before wedding day. Responsible teens are ideal, and involving them with the care of the pet of honor will make them feel important and keep them occupied. Hiring a professional pet sitter is another option if you want to relax with all your guests and know that your pet is being pampered too.
Make sure your pet keeper knows the photo schedule so Fefe can be included, and by all means give your photographer a heads up that your dog will participate. Having a few treats handy is a good way to coax that perfect pose.
It may seem obvious, but don’t forget to bring food and a water bowl for your pet, and instruct your handler to walk him before the ceremony – preferably away from busy guest areas. Exercise is the best calming agent for excited pets. Taking Fido for frequent ‘rest stops’ throughout the celebration is important and picking up after your dog is crucial canine etiquette – even on grass lawns. Make sure your handler has a supply of doggie bags and knows where to deposit them. It is never ok to leave waste on the venue property or grounds.
When Good Dogs do Bad
Dog ‘kids’ need rest time too. When guests are eating, put your dog ‘down’ for a nap. Nap time gives your handler a break if your venue has a place you can leave Fido alone in his crate for brief periods. A familiar pet crate or carrier protects the venue and makes sure your dog feels secure when left alone. Put a favorite toy in the crate for comfort and make sure that barking cannot be heard by your guests.
Every dog has a bad day now and then. Pets react to our emotional energy and may behave in odd ways to the excitement around them. Always have a back up plan if pet anxiety is detected. You don’t want to entrust the wedding ring to a nervous best dog! Ask someone to be on call to take your pet home or to a pre-determined kennel if you feel they or your guests have become uncomfortable.
And most important of all, expect the unexpected. Spontaneous displays of affection between you and your pet can trigger priceless photo ops and melt-the-heart moments for wedding guests. Alas, spontaneity is not always of the fun and fuzzy variety. One excited pooch pounced on the bride’s train for a ride down the altar and began running laps around the bride and groom with the wedding director wildly trying to catch him. Laughter and a sense of humor are the best remedy for unexpected antics.
Alternatives for the Love of Dogs
If all of this sounds like a little too much for pet privileges during your nuptials, you can still pay tribute to your four legged companion at your wedding celebration. Dog lovers can consider giving donations to the Humane Society in lieu of wedding favors. Acknowledgement cards with a ‘family’ photo of the bride, groom, and dog is a good way to include your pet in spirit while doing a good deed for animals in need. A groom’s cake in the image of your pet is a conversation piece guaranteed to get tongues wagging and a sweet way to share your puppy love at the reception.
Pets are precious and weddings involving them are best suited for outdoor venues, where natural, open spaces offer some degree of separation between pets and guests when desired. Do the groundwork before selecting your wedding venue and plan with your ceremony and reception site and wedding director to ensure that you, your family, your guests and not least, your cherished pet have the Pawfect wedding experience.
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Authored by Linda Wright - owner/partner of Cedarwood - a pet-friendly wedding and reception venue in Nashville Tennessee.
Cedarwood is an 1835 antebellum estate on the national register of historic places with the ambiance of country oasis just north of metropolitian Nashville. For information on Cedarwood’s All-inclusive wedding packages, visit: www.historiccedarwood.com.
Authored By Hardy Klahold